By Christian Potts
Fear. Communication. Ignorance.
All are contributing to what many see as a growing trend toward an end result that sounds simple -- people just don't treat each other well.
Fixing it has proven not to be quite so simple. A panel of local experts discussed the topic in a public forum "Why Have We Become So Mean?" last Thursday at the United Ministry Center on the University of Oklahoma campus.
The "mean" stories come from political disagreements to ideological discussions on religious views, and panelists agree they are becoming more prevalent.
A central point made by the panel was that people's ability to communicate well has detioriated.
That's spurred on, panelist Dr. Tom Boyd said, by the fact people have more means to communicate -- at places online like Facebook or Twitter -- and can say things before they think.
"I recently read an article ... what makes a 2-year- old terrible?" asked Boyd, a David Ross Boyd Professor Emeritus of Philosophy with the Religious Studies Faculty at OU. "They know just enough language to know that they need more but they don't know how to say it. So they throw a fit
"We have a proliferation of means of communication like never before, but the language has been flattened. Take a look at the word 'awesome.' God is awesome, sure. A very tall mountain in front of you is awesome. But your new bracelet isn't. Language has been watered down. People may have much verbage, but that doesn't mean they have good communication."
And that can lead to nasty, even violent disagreements. Incidents like those that have gone on during the ongoing health care debate and protests from citizens on both sides of the issue were addressed.
"You can be mean in an extraordinary way and it can be around the world on the Internet in 10 minutes," said the Rev. Charles "T" Thomas, seminary professor, pastor and coordinator for the Cooperating Baptist Fellowship of Oklahoma. "You take the health care debates this summer, people seemed to just want to do things to get on the 6 o'clock news."
Thomas said he spent much of his time for years working overseas and coming back to the United States for a few months at a time.
With that perspective, he's seen a gradual drop in people's civility in handling disagreements.
"I'm distressed people will question one another's faith because they disagree with them on one issue or another," he said. "Part of that can be blamed on the polarization of politics."
While politics always has been a hot-button issue for most, there have been examples of better communication in that arena, too. Boyd referenced the famous debates between Abraham Lincoln and Stephen Douglas during their U.S. Senate campaign approaching the time of the Civil War.
Despite it being such a tumultuous time for the country, they still were able to have productive discussion.
"It's interesting how they could have seven debates on some very inflammatory issues, like slavery, and keep a level of civility in their discussions," Boyd said.
"We've probably always been divided as a country on a lot of issues, but today, so much of the civility is gone."
The group also talked about the role of fear in American society, in uncertainty about the future and in how to deal with people whose viewpoint is different. Then worry about job or family situations gets thrown in the mix as well.
"It just seems like people are about ready to pop," said Dr. Dara Fogel, Liberal Studies Adjunct Professor at OU and an adjunct professor of philosophy at the University of Central Oklahoma. "They are seeing a lot of frustration and feeling powerless."
"There have been a whole series of factors in people's lives that leads then to a dissatisfaction that doesn't ever get solved," said Dr. Darian DeBolt, philosophy program coordinator at UCO and a former Norman police captain and city council member.
Added Boyd: "It would get outrageous if you felt like you were speaking and nobody could hear you. What do you think would happen?"
They do see some signs of hope. DeBolt talked about a recent exchange he had on campus with a strongly anti-abortion group that was demonstrating.
He said after an exchange he had with a member of the group, the young man offered his handshake and thanked DeBolt for having a civil discussion with him.
"That may be more of what we need is people saying 'I could be wrong' and really listening to each other," he said.
"People speak in terms of us and them instead of thinking in terms of we have a problem and we need to get together to find a solution," Thomas said. "We have to work very intentionally about how we can talk about the problem and we can find a solution to it."
Each member of the panel spends a lot of time dealing with college students who in some cases are on their way up to being the next leaders of the country.
They like some of what they see, and are distressed by some of it.
"I see the phones and iPods come out right after class," DeBolt said. "We have a generation of young people who are afraid to be alone. It's very disturbing.
"I used to go on long walks when was in junior high school just be alone and think about things. I hope there are still some kids out there who do that."
The event was put on by the Conscious Living Institute of Central Oklahoma and co-sponsored by the OU Religious Studies Program Outreach.
Christian Potts 366-3544 cpotts@normantranscript.com
