HOLLYWOOD -- God bless America, and how's everybody?
President Obama hosted his fourth primetime press conference in six months Wednesday as he continued to try to rush health care through Congress. The strain is beginning to show. When Susan Boyle got this kind of exposure she cracked like an egg.
Pakistan passed a law Tuesday jailing anyone who tells a joke about Pakistan's leader. It's a first. President Obama likes the idea so much he's demanding that Democrats attach it to the health care bill before they leave on their August recess.
Italy's prime minister Silvio Berlusconi's call girl revealed Monday he always begins his lovemaking by telling a few jokes. It's an old trick. The best way to get over your fear of public speaking is to see your audience naked and then pay them.
ESPN's Erin Andrews was videotaped naked in her hotel room by a voyeur and seen by millions online. He used a wire attached to a tiny camera. ESPN vowed to launch an internal probe, but Erin Andrews said they are not coming near her with that thing.
Pittsburgh Steeler Ben Roethlisberger was sued by a Lake Tahoe hotel concierge Monday. She says he asked her up to his room to fix his TV and sexually assaulted her. If TV repair people would pull up their pants, this kind of thing wouldn't happen.
Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke raised his unemployment forecast for the fall to 10 percent Thursday. It's especially bad in Los Angeles. People with jobs can't enjoy it because people without jobs are still driving around tying up traffic.
Congress made preparations to go on vacation Tuesday and not return until Labor Day. That's a holiday which honors workers. Laborious Day is a lesser known holiday which honors those who can't stop holding White House press conferences.
President Obama blasted insurance and drug companies Wednesday while pushing his health care reform bill. His isn't the only idea. The Republicans have a perfectly sensible health care plan of their own, it's called don't get sick in the first place.
The White House caused an uproar Wednesday by inviting the congressional budget office director to the Oval Office. He'd said the president's health care reform plan would increase health care costs. He left the White House on a stretcher after setting a new Guinness world record holding his breath underwater for 14 minutes.
The White House ordered cabinet departments to avoid holding their conventions in Las Vegas, Reno or Orlando. Better safe than sorry. The president doesn't want any cabinet officials to be accidentally photographed at the pool with TARP recipients.
Senate Democrats nixed a measure permitting drivers to carry concealed weapons across state lines. Laws like this can make a real difference. For instance, abrupt lane changes has replaced heart disease as the No. 1 cause of death in California.
Surgeon General Regina Benjamin's appointment was criticized because she is overweight. Critics say she's a poor choice as the nation's chief health officer during an obesity epidemic. It's like naming Michael Jackson's doctor to be Sleep Czar.
Michael Jackson's doctor's clinic in Houston was raided by the DEA and the Los Angeles police Wednesday. It was shrewd of the pop star to select a doctor in Texas. Any region that lives and dies on something as volatile as oil prices and college football isn't going to notice a little anesthesia missing from the hospital pharmacy.
Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. He can be reached for speaking engagements by e-mail at argus@argushamilton.com.
Opinion
The strain is beginning to show
- Opinion
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Gov. Fallin’s tax plan is one big mistake
Editor, The Transcript: Well, it’s official now. In her State of the State message, Gov. Fallin confirmed that she hopes to reduce the state income tax now and totally eliminate it later. Big mistake, for two compelling reasons....
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Another Library Vote? Good grief!
Editor, The Transcript A new library on the west side? With hardly any books? With a dumb name above the entry as shown in your rendering? Infoplace? The library bureaucracy must think Norman voters just fell off the turnip truck....
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Show them some love
Oklahoma joins bus drivers and riders throughout the nation in the “Love the Bus” campaign to raise awareness and appreciation for the thousands of school bus drivers and aides who safely transport children to and from school each day....
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Eliminating state taxes places burden on poor
Editor, The Transcript: Your editorial on Feb. 8th that expressed your pleasure that the bill by Jim Wilson that would have removed the sales tax exemptions from newspapers was killed in committee was disconcerting. I can agree that the ...
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Not time to experiment with state taxes
Editor, The Transcript Governor Fallin proposed more cuts to the state income tax in her State of the State speech Feb. 6. This comes on the heels of a House Tax Reform Task Force that also proposed phasing out the state income tax over a ...
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Cuts in mental health short-sighted at best
When state budgets tightened up three legislative sessions ago, mental health and substance abuse treatment appropriations amounted to low-hanging fruit. It was easy for lawmakers to reduce treatment for mental health consumers and ...
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Local investment is better for Norman
Editor, The Transcript Americans from all walks of life and political ideologies are asserting their voice to tell Wall Street “Enough is enough!” Occupy Norman members spoke at the Dec. 13 Norman City Council meeting, urging the city to ...
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Decline in unions harmful to economy
Editor, The Transcript Remember sometimes you get what your ask for? Let’s see, what could that be? I know, destroy those evil unions which are compromised of the middle class....
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Tobacco ban comes as shock
Gov. Mary Fallin’s State of the State contained few surprises. The tobacco ban, however, came as a total shock to many legislators and state agency heads. “It was a surprise,” the governor told state press association members this week at ...
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‘Flavor of the month’
State Republicans have invited all of the GOP presidential candidates to Oklahoma. Former candidate Herman Cain came to Oklahoma City in early December, just days after he suspended his campaign. Rick Santorum brought his charged-up ...
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Gov. Fallin’s tax plan is one big mistake
