HOLLYWOOD -- God bless America, and how's everybody?
Rush Limbaugh's bid to buy the St. Louis Rams ran into opposition Tuesday. It's a prized team. The Rams have lost 15 straight games but because expectations are so high for them this year they've just been awarded the Nobel Prize for Football.
Wall Street partied Wednesday when the Dow Jones average made it back up through the 10,000 mark. History repeats itself. It's the second time in 10 years that an intern scandal involving a comedian has sent the Dow up to 10,000.
Brett Favre's TV ratings prompted the NFL to switch a New York Giants game next weekend so a Vikings game can air on NBC in prime time. He's a ratings sensation. CBS just offered the Minnesota Vikings their 10 o'clock time slot five nights a week.
People magazine ran a cover photo of Jaycee Dugard, who was held as a sex slave in an Oakland backyard shack for years. The sex scandals in California have gotten so creepy and weird. Roman Polanski was on the verge of coming home on his own when he was arrested.
Southern California faced the threat of massive mudslides Wednesday when heavy rains followed the brushfires by two weeks. Luckily nothing happened. If it hadn't been for the Mexican marijuana farmers re-planting so quickly the hills might never have held.
The Senate took the health care reform bill behind closed doors Wednesday where Democrats are trying to merge the two bills into one. One bill says there must be a public option and the other says there can't be a public option. The plan is to strip out everything except the congressional pay raise and pass it at midnight.
President Obama was introduced by the Transportation Secretary Wednesday to a crowd of cheering road workers. Presidents love to be introduced by people they appointed to high office. You just don't find that kind of objectivity anywhere else.
The White House hinted that immigration reform for guest workers and political refugees is next on its legislative list. Asylum seekers say they are determined to remain in America and live free. Now all they have to do is qualify for disability.
Arizona GOP Congressman Jeff Flake came back Tuesday from a week-long vacation totally alone on a tiny Pacific desert island. He was really roughing it. He slept for seven nights with nothing between him and the hard ground but a thin native girl.
Al-Qaida mastermind Khalid Sheik Muhammed faced transfer to New York Tuesday for trial and likely life in prison. How perfect. If he wants to spend eternity with 72 virgins he can start in the place where he is considered one of them.
George W. Bush gave a speech in South Korea Wednesday where he warned that North Korea is going to remain a problem for a long time. The former president raises the tension level wherever he gives a speech. His agent bills him as Johnny Applewar.
Wolf Blitzer fact-checked a Saturday Night Live sketch teasing President Obama for accomplishing nothing. He did it on his CNN show. The newsman had a cast on his wrist the next day in what experts are calling another senseless cheerleading injury.
The White House agreed Tuesday to a weapons inspection program which would let Russia inspect nuclear sites in America and count our warheads. This can't be good. Many of our missile silos are located near Colorado Springs, and when the Russians get to stay in the Broadmoor Hotel, they will realize they'll never catch up with us.
Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. He can be reached for speaking engagements by e-mail at argus@argushamilton.com.
Opinion
It pays to lose
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‘Flavor of the month’
State Republicans have invited all of the GOP presidential candidates to Oklahoma. Former candidate Herman Cain came to Oklahoma City in early December, just days after he suspended his campaign. Rick Santorum brought his charged-up ...
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Gov. Fallin says tax cuts bring national attention
Rating agencies are often courted by state, county and local officials seeking better ratings and thus lower interest costs on long-term debt financed through bonds. Oklahoma’s governor and other officials called on various agencies this ...
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AA’s decision a blow to Tulsa
The announcement by American Airlines that it will likely lay off almost a third of its Tulsa work force is terrible news. Looking for the bright side, the huge Tulsa maintenance facility will keep almost 70 percent of its employees ...
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Oklahoma kids rank low
Oklahoma kids continue to rank low in terms of poverty, health, child welfare, early childhood development and hunger....
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Schools deserve best equipment, teachers
A candidate at a state Senate forum this past week repeated the oft-made comment that Oklahoma has too many school districts. We agree some consolidation is needed, and it’s happening. But the candidate went beyond that and said we don’t ...
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Thanks from our readers
Oklahoma senators serving on the finance committee wisely killed a bill that would effectively tax newspaper and magazine subscribers. It came up on the session’s first full day of work and was quickly dispatched by a 13-1 vote....
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Independent group needed
Editor, The Transcript: I wanted to write a letter a long time ago, but Ms. Rogers’ letter claiming that “Chromium levels in the water shouldn’t cause alarm” pushed me over the edge. As an environmental professional in Oklahoma, I have ...
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Governor, chancellor push higher grad rates
Oklahoma has long had college students who leave campus before finishing their degrees. They leave to take jobs in order to support families, they get behind in studies and don’t see a way out, or they just need a break. Additionally, some ...
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Quitting should be smokers’ choice
The Jan. 29 editorial “The high cost of tobacco” claimed that tobacco use costs Oklahomans a lot of money, but it did not disclose the fact that tobacco use produces a lot of money for Oklahomans, which — in the interest of being fair — ...
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A turning point in Oklahoma’s health
The governor’s announcement of a tobacco ban on any state-owned or leased properties may be a turning point in the state’s push for better health. We’re currently ranked 48th in the United Health Foundation rankings. We made some progress, ...
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‘Flavor of the month’
