HOLLYWOOD -- God bless America, and how's everybody? Helen Keller was honored by Congress Thursday with a statue of her as a child in the Capitol. She couldn't hear, she couldn't see and she couldn't say anything. She will stand just outside the Ethics Committee hearing room like a third base coach.
Dave Letterman apologized to his wife on the air Tuesday and said he would try to fix his marriage. He vowed that he will never have sex with a co-worker again. This is the kind of loophole Bill Clinton used to look for in the Book of Deuteronomy.
Rush Limbaugh admitted Monday that he's trying to buy the St. Louis Rams of the National Football League. It's logical. If you have two hundred million dollars and you want to be a dictator you have two choices, run for president or buy an NFL team.
All Nippon Air told passengers Tuesday to empty their bladders before boarding to lighten the airplane and save fuel. Let's hope this doesn't catch on. It just means more witnesses in the men's room the next time Larry Craig wants to meet somebody.
Jesse Jackson blamed Chicago's Olympics loss on the world's hatred of George W. Bush. We're still in Iraq and Afghanistan, we're still in a recession and we still haven't shut down Guantanamo. When the IOC considered the U.S. bid, they thought Bush was still president. Tom DeLay said Tuesday he didn't know if President Obama was born in the United States. He pointed out that the president would have to produce a birth certificate to play Little League baseball. What he didn't say was that anyone can send a self- addressed stamped envelope to the Dominican Republic and get one back by return mail.
President Obama told Iraq's president Jalal Talabani the U.S. remains committed to helping Iraq build its security and economy. The cooperation is excellent. The Iraqi president promised to give the U.S. tips on how to cut down on school violence in Chicago.
President Obama was advised by Democrats to exit Afghanistan and by Republicans to send more troops Tuesday. One road leads to surrender and humiliation while the other road leads to quagmire and humiliation. May we have the wisdom to choose wisely. General Motors fired its executive in charge of sales last Wednesday following September's plunge in GM car sales. Somebody had to take the fall. President Obama doesn't want to be humiliated again when Los Angeles loses the auto show to Rio.
Michael Jordan served as an honorary captain at the President's Cup matches in San Francisco this past week. He loves a friendly game of golf. Every year golf's leading money winner is Tiger Woods, followed by whoever's just played Michael Jordan.
Senator John Ensign refused Tuesday to resign his office in the wake of his adultery scandal. It's the fourth GOP sex scandal this year. Republicans have had so many sex scandals they are starting to attract a significant share of the independent vote.
The Justice Department said Thursday that sixty percent of U.S. kids are exposed to violence in their lives every day. It's a start. Winning the hearts and minds of the people in Afghanistan begins with turning our school districts over to warlords. Senator Russ Feingold began hearings on the constitutionality of all the White House czars who are not answerable to Congress.
Senator Feingold knows this story. It begins with bureaucrats who don't answer to Congress and it ends with Cossacks riding on horses through Jewish neighborhoods setting people's houses on fire.
Opinion
Keller statue just what Ethics Committee needs
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Outhouse enthusiast’s hobby more than a relief
Editor’s note: This previously-published column has been a reader favorite and is one of the most requested columns....
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Homosexuals must convince themselves, God
Editor, The Transcript: I am not one of those in favor of same-sex anything. According to the Bible, homesexuality is a sin. Now maybe there is a new Bible out there — the homosexual Bible. I will check at Barnes & Noble....
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Occupy movement built on principle
Editor, The Transcript: We the People Stand Tall! Bruce Kessler ends his letter to the editor “We the people must stand up — 8 May, 2012,” with a strong message: We the people — the very words that begin our Constitution — must work ...
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Parents proud of two schools’ rankings
Editor, The Transcript: Norman parents are justifiably proud that U.S. News and World Report recently ranked Norman High School as No. 6 in our state and No. 862 in the nation and Norman North as No. 9 in the state and 1,096 in the nation ...
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Reducing state rates would be of minor help
Editor, The Transcript: A Transcript editorial (May 22), in discussing the proposed reduction in income tax rates in HB 3061, states that the “trigger” mechanism is a good thing, citing the rate cut from 5.5 to 5.25 because of the 4 ...
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Sykes trying to secure seat
Editor, The Transcript: By the time this reaches you, the issues surrounding HB 2440 may have been laid to rest. Based on your article of this date, let me make these observations....
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Fallin proposes a flawed tax-cut plan
There was some relief in the tax-cut proposal negotiated with Gov. Mary Fallin and Republican legislative leaders, but it still calls for some difficult reductions to some necessary services....
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Corporate deception rules
Editor, The Transcript: Jamie Dimon, JP Morgan Chase’s chief executive, said he does not know how the bank lost $3 billion (originally estimated at $2 billion) in a trading scheme. He called the trades “sloppy” and “stupid” but could not ...
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What features create a cultural center?
The question has been raised whether an aquatic center somehow constitutes a cultural center. Although the more thorough response would be to ask, in turn, what features create a cultural center, this short treatise will simply focus on ...
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Keep the capitol gun-free
Attorneys working for the state AG’s office are now able to carry handguns in their duties representing state agencies. They won’t need a concealed weapon permit. It’s the same as laws allowing U.S. attorneys, district attorneys and their ...
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Outhouse enthusiast’s hobby more than a relief
