HOLLYWOOD -- God bless America, and how's everybody?
The Cotton Bowl hosts the annual game between Oklahoma and Texas Saturday. The oil crowd is on their best behavior. They know if they spend too much money on alcohol and luxury hotels President Bush will seize college football and sell it to Citigroup.
Barack Obama was confronted on the campaign trail Wednesday over controversial associations in Chicago. It could cost him the presidency. If he manages to blow a six-point lead this close to the finish line he could replace Ernie Banks as Mr. Cub.
Dallas Cowboys players were found to have been fraudulently registered as Nevada voters by a liberal group Tuesday. They were just taking names from the sports pages. If they wanted to get away with everything they should have stolen the names from the business section.
Sarah Palin's family tree showed Tuesday she's Franklin Roosevelt's and Princess Diana's ninth cousin. It's a grim sign for John McCain. Sarah Palin is genetically pre-disposed to steal the spotlight and to be the president during a great depression.
Joe Biden said Sarah Palin's tactic of bringing up Barack Obama's past links to the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, Chicago crook Tony Rezko and '60s radical bomber Bill Ayers is mildly dangerous. He was afraid to criticize her too harshly. Joe Biden is such an ineffective attack dog that Michael Vick would have donated him to a children's shelter.
The London Stock Exchange chaplain wrote a blog post Monday saying gays should have warnings tattooed on their backsides and chins. Don't be angry at him. He was just trying to think of some way to use up all the black ink the stock market is not using.
Wall Streeters looked worn after the Dow Jones dropped 1,000 points in five trading days. The most popular investment seminars are hosted by Hollywood stunt men. Everybody wants to learn how to jump off a speeding train without getting killed.
AIG executives vacationed at a luxury spa in Southern California after they were bailed out last week. They spent their bailout on manicures, bar tabs, back rubs and greens fees. You want to be tanned, rested and ready when the guillotine rolls up.
The Federal Reserve cut a key interest rate to a point and a half Wednesday. Now it's even easier for people to go into debt. So many homeowners in Los Angeles are digging a hole for themselves, it's cut the cost of subway construction by two-thirds.
Cook County sheriffs in Chicago suspended evictions of homeowners who were delinquent in their mortgage payments Wednesday. For weeks, men in uniform have been chasing people off the land they thought was theirs. We could have celebrated Columbus Day with a mattress sale but the Bush Administration wanted to go with a re-enactment.
Barack Obama admitted in Men's Health magazine that he still occasionally smokes cigarettes. It's just politics. In order to carry the tobacco states he admits he is still a smoker, and in order to carry California he's going to get breast implants.
Vladimir Putin released a video called "Let's Learn Judo with Vladimir Putin." It's a martial arts tape. He teaches Russian judo students how to punch, kick and knock down your opponent and if that doesn't work, poison his Gatorade after the match.
John McCain had to stand onstage next to Sarah Palin in Pennsylvania Wednesday as she brought down the house, line after line, while introducing him. Every comedian sympathized with McCain. We've all had to follow Gallagher at one time in our careers.
Comedian and Transcript columnist Argus Hamilton will perform "A Night of Comedy" 7 p.m. Oct. 17 at the Kerr McGee Courtside Club at the Lloyd Noble Center to benefit the Norman Addiction Information and Counseling (NAIC). Limited seating is available. Call 321-0022 to purchase tickets.
Opinion
Oil crowd better behave
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Another Library Vote? Good grief!
Editor, The Transcript A new library on the west side? With hardly any books? With a dumb name above the entry as shown in your rendering? Infoplace? The library bureaucracy must think Norman voters just fell off the turnip truck....
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Show them some love
Oklahoma joins bus drivers and riders throughout the nation in the “Love the Bus” campaign to raise awareness and appreciation for the thousands of school bus drivers and aides who safely transport children to and from school each day....
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Eliminating state taxes places burden on poor
Editor, The Transcript: Your editorial on Feb. 8th that expressed your pleasure that the bill by Jim Wilson that would have removed the sales tax exemptions from newspapers was killed in committee was disconcerting. I can agree that the ...
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Not time to experiment with state taxes
Editor, The Transcript Governor Fallin proposed more cuts to the state income tax in her State of the State speech Feb. 6. This comes on the heels of a House Tax Reform Task Force that also proposed phasing out the state income tax over a ...
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Cuts in mental health short-sighted at best
When state budgets tightened up three legislative sessions ago, mental health and substance abuse treatment appropriations amounted to low-hanging fruit. It was easy for lawmakers to reduce treatment for mental health consumers and ...
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Local investment is better for Norman
Editor, The Transcript Americans from all walks of life and political ideologies are asserting their voice to tell Wall Street “Enough is enough!” Occupy Norman members spoke at the Dec. 13 Norman City Council meeting, urging the city to ...
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Decline in unions harmful to economy
Editor, The Transcript Remember sometimes you get what your ask for? Let’s see, what could that be? I know, destroy those evil unions which are compromised of the middle class....
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Tobacco ban comes as shock
Gov. Mary Fallin’s State of the State contained few surprises. The tobacco ban, however, came as a total shock to many legislators and state agency heads. “It was a surprise,” the governor told state press association members this week at ...
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‘Flavor of the month’
State Republicans have invited all of the GOP presidential candidates to Oklahoma. Former candidate Herman Cain came to Oklahoma City in early December, just days after he suspended his campaign. Rick Santorum brought his charged-up ...
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Gov. Fallin says tax cuts bring national attention
Rating agencies are often courted by state, county and local officials seeking better ratings and thus lower interest costs on long-term debt financed through bonds. Oklahoma’s governor and other officials called on various agencies this ...
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Another Library Vote? Good grief!
