BEVERLY HILLS -- God bless America, and how's everybody?
Washington's Mayflower Hotel said Thursday its gift shop has sold out of hotel souvenirs since Eliot Spitzer met a hooker there. You know what this means. If Bill Clinton really wants to help Hillary he should shut up and have another sex scandal.
Jerry Seinfeld rolled his Fiat when his brakes failed on a highway Friday. He jerked the emergency break, spun his steering wheel, rolled over twice and walked away unharmed. Nothing annoys the Highway Patrol like the annual James Bond auditions.
The Oklahoma Capitol hosted a rally in support of lawmaker Sally Kern, who said gays were more dangerous than terrorists. It's a question of family values. When the movie Oklahoma airs on television, the local station puts a blue dot over the dancing scenes.
NATO refused President Bush's demand that Ukraine and Georgia be admitted to the alliance. He's lucky they said no. If NATO expands too fast, everyone will put two and two together and remember that the Texas Rangers started using steroids when he owned them.
President Bush enjoyed a giant victory Thursday when NATO unanimously approved the U.S.-built missile shield. He's lobbied for the idea for six years. He's so used to everything going wrong that the moment it was approved, he distanced himself from it.
President Bush met Vladimir Putin Saturday at Sochi on the Black Sea. The Russian leader is believed to have amassed the world's largest oil fortune. He still has his first nickel because he doesn't have the Bush family on retainer the way the Saudis do.
President Bush will ask Congress this week to pass a free trade agreement with Colombia. It was negotiated to help U.S. manufacturers. The president got a special no-tariff deal for Caterpillar, but the caterpillars must agree not to eat the coca bushes.
Barack Obama's Chicago church held a protest against all the media coverage of Rev. Jeremiah Wright. It's why Chicago will always be the Second City. Churches in New York and L.A. are hiring Jeremiah Wright impersonators just for the free media coverage.
Hillary Clinton flew to Los Angeles for a fundraiser Thursday and then appeared on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno in Burbank. It had to be a stressful trip. All the adoring cable news stories about Barack Obama begin three hours earlier out here.
Hillary Clinton arrived at Burbank Airport Thursday for one day of campaigning in Los Angeles. She ordered her driver to take as many freeways as possible and to switch lanes without signaling. Hillary thinks the only way to win back the black vote is to get shot on the anniversary of Martin Luther King's assassination.
London Mayor Ken Livingstone said Thursday the city will begin charging gas-guzzling vehicles a fifty-dollar-a-day entrance fee in October. People are balking. For a cover charge like that, they'd better have the Beatles playing at the Cavern Club.
Ted Turner told PBS Friday that in 40 years, global warming will destroy all crops and man will be reduced to cannibalism. Then he called the insurgents in Iraq patriots. One day Ted Turner's bones will be on display at the Dinosaur Park in Utah, representing the age when television networks were not owned by the defense industry.
Opinion
Spitzer spruces up sales
- Opinion
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Outhouse enthusiast’s hobby more than a relief
Editor’s note: This previously-published column has been a reader favorite and is one of the most requested columns....
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Homosexuals must convince themselves, God
Editor, The Transcript: I am not one of those in favor of same-sex anything. According to the Bible, homesexuality is a sin. Now maybe there is a new Bible out there — the homosexual Bible. I will check at Barnes & Noble....
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Occupy movement built on principle
Editor, The Transcript: We the People Stand Tall! Bruce Kessler ends his letter to the editor “We the people must stand up — 8 May, 2012,” with a strong message: We the people — the very words that begin our Constitution — must work ...
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Parents proud of two schools’ rankings
Editor, The Transcript: Norman parents are justifiably proud that U.S. News and World Report recently ranked Norman High School as No. 6 in our state and No. 862 in the nation and Norman North as No. 9 in the state and 1,096 in the nation ...
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Reducing state rates would be of minor help
Editor, The Transcript: A Transcript editorial (May 22), in discussing the proposed reduction in income tax rates in HB 3061, states that the “trigger” mechanism is a good thing, citing the rate cut from 5.5 to 5.25 because of the 4 ...
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Sykes trying to secure seat
Editor, The Transcript: By the time this reaches you, the issues surrounding HB 2440 may have been laid to rest. Based on your article of this date, let me make these observations....
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Fallin proposes a flawed tax-cut plan
There was some relief in the tax-cut proposal negotiated with Gov. Mary Fallin and Republican legislative leaders, but it still calls for some difficult reductions to some necessary services....
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Corporate deception rules
Editor, The Transcript: Jamie Dimon, JP Morgan Chase’s chief executive, said he does not know how the bank lost $3 billion (originally estimated at $2 billion) in a trading scheme. He called the trades “sloppy” and “stupid” but could not ...
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What features create a cultural center?
The question has been raised whether an aquatic center somehow constitutes a cultural center. Although the more thorough response would be to ask, in turn, what features create a cultural center, this short treatise will simply focus on ...
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Keep the capitol gun-free
Attorneys working for the state AG’s office are now able to carry handguns in their duties representing state agencies. They won’t need a concealed weapon permit. It’s the same as laws allowing U.S. attorneys, district attorneys and their ...
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Outhouse enthusiast’s hobby more than a relief
