BEVERLY HILLS -- God bless America, and how's everybody?
Washington's Mayflower Hotel said Thursday its gift shop has sold out of hotel souvenirs since Eliot Spitzer met a hooker there. You know what this means. If Bill Clinton really wants to help Hillary he should shut up and have another sex scandal.
Jerry Seinfeld rolled his Fiat when his brakes failed on a highway Friday. He jerked the emergency break, spun his steering wheel, rolled over twice and walked away unharmed. Nothing annoys the Highway Patrol like the annual James Bond auditions.
The Oklahoma Capitol hosted a rally in support of lawmaker Sally Kern, who said gays were more dangerous than terrorists. It's a question of family values. When the movie Oklahoma airs on television, the local station puts a blue dot over the dancing scenes.
NATO refused President Bush's demand that Ukraine and Georgia be admitted to the alliance. He's lucky they said no. If NATO expands too fast, everyone will put two and two together and remember that the Texas Rangers started using steroids when he owned them.
President Bush enjoyed a giant victory Thursday when NATO unanimously approved the U.S.-built missile shield. He's lobbied for the idea for six years. He's so used to everything going wrong that the moment it was approved, he distanced himself from it.
President Bush met Vladimir Putin Saturday at Sochi on the Black Sea. The Russian leader is believed to have amassed the world's largest oil fortune. He still has his first nickel because he doesn't have the Bush family on retainer the way the Saudis do.
President Bush will ask Congress this week to pass a free trade agreement with Colombia. It was negotiated to help U.S. manufacturers. The president got a special no-tariff deal for Caterpillar, but the caterpillars must agree not to eat the coca bushes.
Barack Obama's Chicago church held a protest against all the media coverage of Rev. Jeremiah Wright. It's why Chicago will always be the Second City. Churches in New York and L.A. are hiring Jeremiah Wright impersonators just for the free media coverage.
Hillary Clinton flew to Los Angeles for a fundraiser Thursday and then appeared on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno in Burbank. It had to be a stressful trip. All the adoring cable news stories about Barack Obama begin three hours earlier out here.
Hillary Clinton arrived at Burbank Airport Thursday for one day of campaigning in Los Angeles. She ordered her driver to take as many freeways as possible and to switch lanes without signaling. Hillary thinks the only way to win back the black vote is to get shot on the anniversary of Martin Luther King's assassination.
London Mayor Ken Livingstone said Thursday the city will begin charging gas-guzzling vehicles a fifty-dollar-a-day entrance fee in October. People are balking. For a cover charge like that, they'd better have the Beatles playing at the Cavern Club.
Ted Turner told PBS Friday that in 40 years, global warming will destroy all crops and man will be reduced to cannibalism. Then he called the insurgents in Iraq patriots. One day Ted Turner's bones will be on display at the Dinosaur Park in Utah, representing the age when television networks were not owned by the defense industry.
Opinion
Spitzer spruces up sales
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Another Library Vote? Good grief!
Editor, The Transcript A new library on the west side? With hardly any books? With a dumb name above the entry as shown in your rendering? Infoplace? The library bureaucracy must think Norman voters just fell off the turnip truck....
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Show them some love
Oklahoma joins bus drivers and riders throughout the nation in the “Love the Bus” campaign to raise awareness and appreciation for the thousands of school bus drivers and aides who safely transport children to and from school each day....
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Eliminating state taxes places burden on poor
Editor, The Transcript: Your editorial on Feb. 8th that expressed your pleasure that the bill by Jim Wilson that would have removed the sales tax exemptions from newspapers was killed in committee was disconcerting. I can agree that the ...
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Not time to experiment with state taxes
Editor, The Transcript Governor Fallin proposed more cuts to the state income tax in her State of the State speech Feb. 6. This comes on the heels of a House Tax Reform Task Force that also proposed phasing out the state income tax over a ...
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Cuts in mental health short-sighted at best
When state budgets tightened up three legislative sessions ago, mental health and substance abuse treatment appropriations amounted to low-hanging fruit. It was easy for lawmakers to reduce treatment for mental health consumers and ...
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Local investment is better for Norman
Editor, The Transcript Americans from all walks of life and political ideologies are asserting their voice to tell Wall Street “Enough is enough!” Occupy Norman members spoke at the Dec. 13 Norman City Council meeting, urging the city to ...
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Decline in unions harmful to economy
Editor, The Transcript Remember sometimes you get what your ask for? Let’s see, what could that be? I know, destroy those evil unions which are compromised of the middle class....
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Tobacco ban comes as shock
Gov. Mary Fallin’s State of the State contained few surprises. The tobacco ban, however, came as a total shock to many legislators and state agency heads. “It was a surprise,” the governor told state press association members this week at ...
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‘Flavor of the month’
State Republicans have invited all of the GOP presidential candidates to Oklahoma. Former candidate Herman Cain came to Oklahoma City in early December, just days after he suspended his campaign. Rick Santorum brought his charged-up ...
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Gov. Fallin says tax cuts bring national attention
Rating agencies are often courted by state, county and local officials seeking better ratings and thus lower interest costs on long-term debt financed through bonds. Oklahoma’s governor and other officials called on various agencies this ...
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Another Library Vote? Good grief!
