Life is hard, and so is business, but recognizing that will enable business leaders to make tough choices necessary to succeed. "The key to confronting this reality of suffering in our world and in our lives is perseverance," American Airlines Chairman and CEO Gerard Arpey said Thursday at the University of Oklahoma.

Arpey shared what he has learned about life and leadership with about 200 business students and alumni as part of the E. Deane Kanaly Lecture Series.

He said life is hard, and too many people don't realize that. They get caught up in their own problems, thinking they are the exception and their suffering is others' faults.

Arpey said he understands that line of thinking, and he's done some similar complaining himself. But the truth is that suffering is a fact of life, and most Americans don't suffer nearly as much as the rest of the world. Realizing that fact is what enables people to move away from a victim mentality and accurately deal with problems, Arpey said.

To confront problems, it'll take "good old-fashioned fortitude," he said.

"Why? Because perseverance and not giving up will build your character and that will give you and those around you hope for a brighter future," he said. That character is what Arpey said he always looks for in leadership in his company.

He shared with the audience Thursday his four guidelines for leadership, which he describes through the acronym of WIDE: wisdom, integrity, drive and empathy.

Our lives are defined by the choices that we make, Arpey said, and wisdom is what helps us make the right decisions.

"If you want to become a wise person, you have to start with a worldview, ... some kind of anchor for your soul," he said. For Arpey, that anchor is his Christian faith. He said each person needs to find that anchor that will give them the fortitude to face challenges in their life.

Just because one has an anchor, Arpey said, doesn't mean they have all the answers. That's where the second guideline, integrity, comes in.

"What integrity means to me is to have the humility to say you don't have all the answers," Arpey said.

The third guideline for leadership, he said, was drive. That's what makes the difference between those with a lot of talent who don't go very far professionally and those who are less talented who achieve greater success, he said.

Empathy was Arpey's final guideline for leadership. It's always important to remember how blessed you are and have compassion on those less fortunate, he said.

That's come into play as Arpey has had to decide what to pay employees in the struggling airline industry. American is one of only three legacy airlines that have not filed for bankruptcy. He said that brings its own challenges because American has the highest labor cost of any of its competitors. He said choosing how to cut costs and keep the company going is one of the hardest things he does in leadership.

"You have to make tough decisions and tough choices and you have to confront reality," Arpey said.

But making wise choices with those tough decisions is exactly what Arpey does, OU President David Boren said Thursday.

Boren is a member of the American Airlines board of directors and was instrumental in bringing Arpey to OU. Boren said he's watched Arpey do what very few executives would: He turned down pay increases for himself and his staff because it wasn't in the best interest of the company.

"There's a lot of pressure there, and he said, 'Not until we turn this thing around. I'm going to take a pilot's salary,'" Boren said.

Boren said one aspect of his job as OU president is to bring people to campus who will be good examples to students.

"You just couldn't find a better role model for the way you should conduct yourself than Gerard Arpey," Boren said.

Accounting senior Nathan Cross, who was in the audience Thursday, agreed that Arpey was an excellent example for himself and others. He said Arpey's four guidelines for leadership were spot on.

"Those are pretty much universal to just leadership and things in your own life," he said. He said he enjoyed Arpey's lecture.

"Not many people talk about integrity and how they got to where they're at right now," Cross said. "That was really inspiring."

Julianna Parker Jones 366-3541 jparker@normantranscript.com