"To sleep, perchance to dream-ay, there's the rub."
Do you believe sleep is a waste of time? If you secretly long for an implant allowing one to plug-in and recharge rather than taking time to sleep, you may want to consider the consequences.
Most health experts agree, sleep is necessary for our well-being. It may: keep your heart healthy; prevent cancer; reduce stress and inflammation; make you more alert; strengthen your memory; aid in weight loss; minimize the risk of depression; and allow the body to make repairs. And, for those who tend to fall asleep during the day typing on the computer; reading mind-numbing documents; or using the restroom; you already know cat naps are a great way to recharge and they make you smarter.
But even if you want to get a good night's sleep (seven to nine hours is recommended by those who do not live in the real world), outside forces may interfere such plans. In fact, more than one couple on the planet deals with sleep related issues.
For example, my mother-in-law was married to a fellow over 6 feet tall. They both worked long hours, at home and at their respective jobs, and needed all the rest they could squeeze into a few precious hours. However, Papa was a rough sleeper, bucking and tossing throughout the night. By the time the sun rose, Mom barely slept and their mattress was halfway off the bed. Eventually, they opted for separate beds and then, only his mattress teetered between the bed and the floor every morning.
On vacations with the in-laws, sleeping in the same camper with Papa was an undulating experience, something akin to sleeping in a rowboat on the high seas. No wonder some of us were seasick by morning.
Restless sleep takes many forms. Some people snore just enough to shake the sheet rock lose. Some toss and turn throughout the night. Others imitate burrowing critters or cocoon themselves with all the blankets. Cocooning is fine if you sleep alone, but when you share a bed, you should share the covers as well.
The freezing party makes the bed, allotting an even share of the blankets for each person, but the cocooning party is never satisfied. With every move a bit more of the covers wind around his or her body. Meanwhile, the uncovered party is freezing.
Is it any wonder the cocooning party finds unexplained bumps and bruises on his or her body? It could happen. A well placed elbow or a gentle, but firm, tug on the blanket may cause the hogging party to hit the nightstand or fall out of bed. And for a brief period the freezing party may catch a few comfortable Zs, that is until the one on the floor gets cold, climbs back in bed and starts the process all over again.
One remedy tested by desperate partners was the placement of a line of bricks on top of the covers right down the middle of the bed. Unfortunately, this proved to be a less than desirable experience for both sleepers. All the tossing and turning flipped the bricks and conked both of them on the noggin.
Another remedy was the bundling board, which harkens back to an old pioneer practice. Since McMansions were not in vogue back then, visitors had to share the bed of a family member. If the sharing party was an unmarried female and the visitor was an unmarried male, a bundling board was placed between the two for the sake of propriety. Of course, if the bundling board fell during the night, their engagement was announced in the morning. However, as a solution to the current blanket tousle dilemma, the bundling board was even less effective than the bricks.
On second thought, the implant/recharge method may be the way to go after all.
Elizabeth is a freelance writer and former Norman resident. Her e-mail is Elizabeth@elizabethcowan.com
