Norman — Why do people think they can do or say things which are unacceptable and downright uncouth? Do they assume that whenever they step off the accepted or generally preferred path of behavior, they become invisible?
Such misguided and uncivil souls are so clueless. Even when you do not see anyone watching you, someone (a.k.a. potential witness) is almost always around. Also, whether we like it or not, our actions, words and deeds fall under the heading of that hoity-toity word “etiquette.” Any deviation from the exercise of good manners confirms that someone has fallen off the etiquette wagon into the doggy dropping-filled ditch of the uncouth.
Perhaps you have noticed a plethora of discussions regarding civility or a lack thereof. The glut of articles, surveys, etc., are approaching the ridiculous (similar to any “brouhaha de jour.”) A modern version of Babel — a cacophony of opinions without resolution.
For example, in the past two issues of The Costco Connection, a magazine published for Costco Warehouse members, they posed the probing question: “Is civility dead?” After slogging through the pro and con opinions of the readers, the question is still not resolved. However, the point of view of some folks were ... a bit different.
Those who answered “no” maintained that the uncivil people are a small percentage of society and we should ignore them and their behavior. Another reader believes that “everyone has issues” and we should “take the not-so-happy people with a grain of salt.” Obviously, this person must be used to overdosing on sodium.
Another blamed rude behavior on “hurriedness.” Those hurrying folks are so busy multitasking that they just come across as rude. And if someone dumps a plate of spaghetti on your head, be sure to tell yourself (as you pluck flaccid spaghetti from your hair) that they are not really clumsy, it just looks that way.
After enduring such “deep hogwash,” frankly, my dear ... well, you know the rest of that famous Rhett Butler line (and if you don’t, you should because it often comes in handy.)
It is unfortunate that we often notice strangers driving along in their cloak of invisibility following their great family tradition of nasal mining or other unseemly endeavors. Some may have even observed people they know peripherally striving to qualify for the Dastardly Deviates of Civility Award. A barrage of our raspberry salutes are winging their way to the determined contestants.
For example, wanting to get a head start on things at work, an acquaintance skidded to a halt in the parking garage, parked her car and dashed in the office. (Boy! That is just too energetic at the crack of God!) At day’s end, she dashed to her car (poor thing does not know the meaning of slow) and on the windshield was a charming note printed in block letters on a pilfered fast-food restaurant napkin (guess she must have used up the roll of toilet tissue she usually keeps in her car for such special windshield messages): “Learn to park a**hole!”
You guessed it! The car was not exactly parked between the parking space lines. Since surprises are fun to spring on others, there are a few things the note writer ought to know.
First, based on the formation of the cute, rounded letters, the writer was probably a female.
Second, in order to leave the note, the ticked off person had to find another place to park, walk back to the offending car, then write and leave the note.
Third, parking garages are filled with security cameras and one or more of them have captured her features, distorted by unbecoming rage, as she sailed through the garage after the deed was done.
Fourth, her fingerprints are all over the note.
Isn’t it odd that people are constantly striving to present their best side to the world, but someone always manages to catch them at their worst?
Elizabeth Cowan is a freelance writer and former Norman resident. Her e-mail is elizabeth@elizabethcowan.com.
